I have struggled with being overweight my entire life, and after many, MANY attempts at trying to get healthy and change my ways to a healthier lifestyle, I have decided that it is that time again. It's actually passed time, but over the past few weeks I have had a huge wake-up call. I won't bore you with details, but what it comes down to is that I don't want to die young. I want to be around to be able to take care of my parents. I want to be around to see my nieces and nephew grow up. I want to get married someday. I want to write books. I want to live the life that I have always dreamed for myself. And I want to live it as a healthy and happy person.
I know that I am at a very dangerous weight, and nothing good can come from that. Thankfully, I do not have conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure, but that doesn't mean I still can't get them at any time. And actually, I have not been to a doctor in a few years, so I really don't know if what I just stated is even true anymore. It's terrible, I know.
It has been a never-ending battle- this thing with me and losing weight. It is definitely a love-hate relationship. I don't know how to find the balance between eating healthy, but still allowing myself to have a treat now and then, or exercising and giving myself a day(s) to rest. My mentality is all-or-nothing, and that's why I am in the predicament I am in now.
In 2011, I got my very first personal trainer. He kicked my butt with his workouts, and I did great with eating healthy, but it just didn't stick. The less time I had with him, the more I veered back to my old ways. The more time he gave me to work out on my own, the more I let myself go again. It was just pure laziness, and it is still laziness even now. As much as I didn't want to admit then, I am able to admit it now, and really start to do something about it- AGAIN.
As I said earlier, I don't know how many chances we get in this lifetime to make changes, but I am grateful for all of them. I am really ready to make a lifestyle change, not only because I want to, but because I NEED to. And I know that I have said and gone through this very thing before, but this is it. It has to be. I can't continue living this way, I deserve so much more out of my life.
It is not going to be easy, as nothing life-changing ever is, but I am ready to put in the hard work- blood, sweat, and tears. And this time I HAVE to do it on my own. It is the only way. The times that I had trainers definitely helped me, but I lost the motivation. It was my fault. I need to prove to myself that I can stay focused, motivated, and inspired all on my own. Of course, support from family and friends is always welcomed. :)
I have fond memories of how great I felt after working out and I know I was much happier. I want to feel that again. I want to work on finding my "happy" again, and it starts with getting healthy and active. I know the rest will fall into place.
The past couple of years have not been my greatest, but I am glad that I went through all that I did because it has humbled me. I see things in a different light, and I have learned to appreciate everything I have- especially my family. I would not have survived this long without them.
I have always felt that I was meant to do something great in this life- I don't know what it is, but something tells me that I will find out soon enough. I am ready to give myself the chances I deserve. I am ready for change, and it has to start with me. This is only the beginning. :)
Stay Tuned!
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