Frustrations and Blah, Blah, Blah

Here I am finishing up week 3 of my journey- a healthier lifestyle, a healthier me, and I have to say that the first couple of weeks went very well. I was happy with the way my body felt, the results from my first week weigh-in, and how organized I was with meal-prepping on Sundays. Everything was going perfectly, and then week 3 came along.

After spending a fun weekend with friends, and doing so well with my eating while there, I was sure I had dropped a couple of more pounds by Sunday. Well, much to my surprise and dismay, the scale showed that I had not lost any weight at all. How could that be? I had been so good. I had done everything right- or so I thought. My clothes were fitting bigger, and my friends had even noticed that I had lost some weight since I last saw them. How could this happen? I stay disappointed, and admittedly began to get discouraged. Then it was time for meal-prep....

I was already thrown off my game because I had been out of town and I didn't get home until late afternoon that Sunday. And once I got home, the last thing I wanted to do was go grocery shopping and do meal-prep, so I didn't.

Luckily, I had plenty of meals that were already cooked in the freezer, so I just took what I had out,and created my meals. I have to admit- they were sort of half-assed and not well thought out, but I think I did a great job despite not doing any type of planning.

I did run out of vegetables for salad, though, so I ended up making a trip to the store to pick up some fruits and veggies, but it was a quick trip, and I bought nothing else. Since the food that I brought out of the freezer was going to take a bit to defrost, I created my meals on a daily basis instead of all at one time. It seemed much easier than spending an entire day on meal-prep, and I liked that, but I also felt that it gave me a little room to cheat if I wanted since I didn't have anything readily available, and I definitely don't need any kind of reason or excuse to cheat.

I survived the week as best as I could, and I didn't cheat at all. I still ate what I was supposed to, and overall, I was proud of myself. I do have to say though, I was disappointed with not losing any weight at all, and angry a little as well. I mean, I did so well while in Austin, and that's because I was sure I was going to cheat. I guess at the end of the day, I shouldn't have been mad or discouraged . The truth of the matter is, cheating is never really that appealing to me anymore. I like the way I feel with all that I am putting into my body, and I know that the rewards are coming- I just have to be patient. And even though week 3 seemed like a total bust, I was able to put it behind me, hold my head up high, and get right back to where I was- feeling determined, confident, and ready to move forward with a positive attitude.

Prepping Ain't Easy....

The second week of my journey has begun, and I have to say, I am feeling really good! It is amazing how much better my body feels in just 1 week- I never really listened to what my body was telling me prior to this. But then again, maybe I did, and just chose to ignore it. Who knows, but now here I am doing what I need to do, and feeling great about it! Week 1 was a big success, and I was really proud of myself for staying on track. The meal prep I did last Sunday proved to go even better than I expected, so I knew that meal prepping, no matter how hard, would have to be the norm from now on.

For anyone that knows me, you know just how much I LOATHE going to the store for groceries. I don't know if it's the very act of shopping for food that bothers me or the fact that there are WAY too many choices for each item in the store. I mean, why does there have to be 16 different kinds of oatmeal? They're OATS.

Whatever the reason, I hate grocery shopping, but have found myself not minding it so much now. For meal prepping purposes, I have no choice, so I guess it doesn't really matter if I mind it or not- it has to get done.

Last week, I found myself with a huge grocery list since I was literally starting with nothing, but this week, my list was much smaller. I find it is so much easier to plan out my menu- breakfast, 2 snacks a day, lunch, and dinner prior to hitting the store, so that I know what I need and I don't over buy. And since I totally over bought last week, I found myself with lots of extras to work with. :)

It took me about 45 minutes to maneuver through the aisles this time around versus my 2 hour adventure last Sunday, so I was extremely happy about that. I never used to go to the store, so being there last week was sooooo overwhelming and fascinating. I'm weird, I know. ha ha.

Anyway, I made it home within the hour, and I was ready to go. It seemed to go much smoother this week than last- last week was just a mess. Ha ha. Since the meats I bought would take the longest to cook, I started with those first. I chopped up any accompanying vegetables, and threw everything in the oven. While that cooked, I started to chop up lettuce and spinach for my salads, and cucumbers to go with some of my dinners. I cooked oatmeal and packed snacks, as well. I put my label maker, a Christmas gift I had never used before, to good use. I actually had a little too much fun with that label maker- it's the little things. :)


Once all my meats were done cooking, it was time to get organized. I don't have containers for every single thing I make, but I make due with what I have, and improvise the rest. After one day, I am able to replenish some of my containers to use for a meal later in the week.
I get bored with food so easily, so I like to make a variety of things. Last week was mainly chicken and veggies since I was just starting and it seemed like the easiest plan to stick with at the time. This week, I made chicken with veggies, a whole wheat penne pasta w/ chopped zucchini, and some very lean hamburger patties. I tried to really like ground turkey, but some things I refuse to compromise on. I'm stubborn that way, but at least I know that anything I am doing now is so much better than where I was.


Overall, my meal prepping takes several hours from beginning to end. It's not really the cooking because it is as easy as throwing a bunch of stuff in the oven. It's the chopping, organization, and packing things that really takes time and patience. Clean up takes a while too, but I find that washing dishes as I finish one thing makes it less overwhelming.
By the end of the day, I was exhausted but really proud of myself. The best part about meal prepping, is that now I don't have to worry about anything else the rest of the week. I can just pull out my pre-labeled, pre-cooked food and snacks, and know that I won't go hungry or even have to make a decision on what to eat. And most of all, I know that I am on my way to a healthier ME.

Time to Lose...

I have officially started my journey to a healthier lifestyle, and I have to say that I am already really proud of myself. Finally doing something about a life-long struggle feels liberating and makes me feel so happy. I know I will stick with it this time because I am a different person than I was before. I am more focused and prepared, and I am ready for my life to change for the better. With that said, I have already inspired a few people who are ready for the same.

A couple of women I work with have decided to join me, as well as, my eldest brother. Having a great support system is awesome, but I know ultimately- no matter what they decide to do, I will have to keep myself motivated. Lucky for me, I have plenty of things to keep me motivated and on the right track. I will share more on that in a later post. :)


Sunday was the big weigh-in day, and let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight. I knew my number would be a big one because I had to buy a scale that could read a higher capacity of weight. Thank God for online shopping- I can't even imagine trying to go out and buy that somewhere- how embarrassing. I had really hoped it wouldn't be as high as I thought, but it was. And even though I wasn't that surprised, I was still kinda surprised. ha ha. Does that make sense? Anyway, I was so ashamed to even say it out loud- I didn't want to tell anyone, not even my family. Thoughts like, "do I really look THAT big?" and "why did I let it get this bad?" consumed my mind, but as I let the thoughts sink in, I decided to change them. Quickly they moved from feeling sorry for myself to "at least you recognize the problem and are doing something about it now" and "your weight does NOT define you". I wish I was brave enough to disclose my weight to you now, but I am not that brave- not yet, anyway.


I did end up telling my brother what I weigh since he and I are in this together, and it is only fair to share. Still embarrassed to say it out loud, I sent him a text instead. He replied back with the best response, and one that I really needed. He said, "okay, and next month it will be 10lbs less." So, even in my feeling-completely-ashamed-and-embarrassed moment, he made me feel so much better. You gotta love big brothers- I know I do.


Ten pounds in 30 days is the goal we set for ourselves, and I think it is a completely reasonable, attainable one. One of the problems that I had the last time I did this, was setting huge goals for myself, and getting discouraged when I didn't meet them. If I take a different approach this time- set smaller goals, reach them, and set another goal, reach that one, and so on and so forth, I know I will have a better chance of succeeding. Let me re-phrase- I KNOW I WILL SUCCEED. :)
The journey has officially begun, and I am ready for the challenge. I am looking forward to seeing some awesome results, and to sharing them with all of you!!


Stay Tuned....

Starting over....AGAIN.

How many chances do we get in a lifetime to change things? I ask myself that very question, probably more often than I should. Lord knows I have had my fair share of change, and anyone who knows me, knows that I change things in my life often. Change is good. I like change.

I have struggled with being overweight my entire life, and after many, MANY attempts at trying to get healthy and change my ways to a healthier lifestyle, I have decided that it is that time again. It's actually passed time, but over the past few weeks I have had a huge wake-up call. I won't bore you with details, but what it comes down to is that I don't want to die young. I want to be around to be able to take care of my parents. I want to be around to see my nieces and nephew grow up. I want to get married someday. I want to write books. I want to live the life that I have always dreamed for myself. And I want to live it as a healthy and happy person. 

I know that I am at a very dangerous weight, and nothing good can come from that. Thankfully, I do not have conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure, but that doesn't mean I still can't get them at any time. And actually, I have not been to a doctor in a few years, so I really don't know if what I just stated is even true anymore. It's terrible, I know. 

It has been a never-ending battle- this thing with me and losing weight. It is definitely a love-hate relationship. I don't know how to find the balance between eating healthy, but still allowing myself to have a treat now and then, or exercising and giving myself a day(s) to rest. My mentality is all-or-nothing, and that's why I am in the predicament I am in now.

In 2011, I got my very first personal trainer. He kicked my butt with his workouts, and I did great with eating healthy, but it just didn't stick. The less time I had with him, the more I veered back to my old ways. The more time he gave me to work out on my own, the more I let myself go again. It was just pure laziness, and it is still laziness even now. As much as I didn't want to admit then, I am able to admit it now, and really start to do something about it- AGAIN.

As I said earlier, I don't know how many chances we get in this lifetime to make changes, but I am grateful for all of them. I am really ready to make a lifestyle change, not only because I want to, but because I NEED to. And I know that I have said and gone through this very thing before, but this is it. It has to be. I can't continue living this way, I deserve so much more out of my life. 

It is not going to be easy, as nothing life-changing ever is, but I am ready to put in the hard work- blood, sweat, and tears. And this time I HAVE to do it on my own. It is the only way. The times that I had trainers definitely helped me, but I lost the motivation. It was my fault. I need to prove to myself that I can stay focused, motivated, and inspired all on my own. Of course, support from family and friends is always welcomed. :) 

I have fond memories of how great I felt after working out and I know I was much happier. I want to feel that again. I want to work on finding my "happy" again, and it starts with getting healthy and active. I know the rest will fall into place. 

The past couple of years have not been my greatest, but I am glad that I went through all that I did because it has humbled me. I see things in a different light, and I have learned to appreciate everything I have- especially my family. I would not have survived this long without them. 

I have always felt that I was meant to do something great in this life- I don't know what it is, but something tells me that I will find out soon enough. I am ready to give myself the chances I deserve. I am ready for change, and it has to start with me. This is only the beginning. :) 

Stay Tuned!